May 30, 2003
Where do I begin.
As I mentioned in my pervious post I was trying to design my own minor. The idea is that If I can design my own minor with classes that I've already taken and then only have to take a few more then I'll graduate sooner. Well, My proposal was denied. So now I'm somewhat lost. I had a backup plan but not really. The backup plan in place was that I find out wether or not this proposal would be approved before classes start at MCC so that in the event that it is denied, I can get a full refund. Well, yeah I'm going to do that... but do I live in Omaha now? I don't have a job yet. I think it would be best to just move to Lincoln, and get a job here. Preferably a job that will carry over into the school year. hmm. I need a plan.
There is no reason for me to live in Omaha now. I don't like the house I'm in. My room is in the basement. The basement is humid and smells bad. The bedroom itself does not really smell nor is it as humid but it's not great. It's not the cleanest place either but it's liveable. The rest of the house is fine I guess. My roommate isn't the greatest person in the world. I don't know what words I can use to describe him but I can give examples of his character. : I visited the house a couple of weeks ago when I enrolled for classes at MCC. I met my new roommate at the house and he showed me around. One of the things he said to me was that he didn't really need the money and so he was going to use the money I'm paying him for rent and he was going to buy a bar and kegorator, and a new truck. He drinks a lot of beer, and his eating habits are interesting.. When he buys groceries he will buy 10 frozen pizzas and about as many frozen TV dinners. His concerns are only of beer, money, and sex. Speaking of which I saw a receipt for planned parenthood on the counter. I was surprised he left it just sitting there face up on a nearly bare countertop. This of course means only one thing. He's getting tested for STDs. Well, at least he's being some what responsible. As far as roommates go this guy is actually pretty good. I've had some roommates from hell, although that was a dorm room situation. I can stand him, but I don't think I'd have him for a roommate on the long term. The fact that I'd be staying there no later than the 3rd week of august allows me to tolerate more. As I mentioned, he said he didn't need the money I was paying him for rent. Well, things have changed. After I told him that I'd move in, but before I actually did, he bought a truck. So now he needs that money. To make matters worse (for him) he was told that at his job that he needs to put in much less overtime. So, now he's looking for a part time job. It is not my problem that he bought a truck, without having any money saved, and that his job won't let him work all the extra hours he thought they would. However, If I decide to move out in a week, well he won't like that. I'm not looking forward to dealing with him.
For those of you who read my blog, you may have noticed I do a lot of complaining, or what seems to be complaining. The thing is that I often post things that I'm concerned about, challenges that I'm facing. Though it may seem that I whine and moan a lot, I'm growing.... and I'm feeling these growing pains. I'm trying to discover who I am, where I belong, what I want. It's not easy and I feel trapped in many ways. The circumstances in recent months are confusing and right now I'm lacking direction. I need a plan.
Last night I drove to Elkhorn. It's about a 20-30 min drive from where I'm currently living. I have a cousin who lives there with her family. My mom was supposed to go there for something or other, but she didn't make it. There were a couple of things that I had left behind and she sent them with my Aunt. Anyway, I went to Elkhorn to get some of my stuff, and the original plan was to show my parents the house I was living in. While I was there I talked to my cousin's Husband. He's a nice guy. We talked about stuff.. It was nice to talk to some one that can relate to me in some ways but is older (he's 36) and can give me a more mature perspective. He said some things that I'm still mulling over.
I need to stay in school and get a degree. that's one thing I'm sure of. Money is something that is eluding me right now. I don't want to sound like I'm pressing blame, but my parents make me worry about money. They're always reminding me about how expensive school is and some how, a huge debt is this unforgivable sin or something. Yes, debt is bad. However it's something I can't avoid right now. One day it will be gone, but not for a long time. It's some thing that I can't afford to stress over. I have far too many things to worry about. I look to my parents for approval quite a bit. However, it seems everything I do is wrong. I'm supposed to be happy, meet a nice girl, get good grades stay out of debt. S@$%^ I don't do drugs, I don't drink heavily, I'm not promiscuous, I wear my seatbelt. Compared to many I'm doing alright. Sure I'm single, in debt, no job (yet), not much direction, few dreams, over weight, etc, etc, but I'm alive.
Right now, at this very moment the only way I can describe my feelings is "confused". I have all these little thoughts and stuff floating around in my head and it's tough to sort them out. Maybe I'll go fishing this weekend. I have a tackle box and a busted up fishing pole in Omaha. Of course there are no good places to go fishing around Omaha. (eew) So, I may go to Beemer this weekend and try a place that's not far from there. Hopefully I will just sort out things in my head and devise a new plan.
As I mentioned in my pervious post I was trying to design my own minor. The idea is that If I can design my own minor with classes that I've already taken and then only have to take a few more then I'll graduate sooner. Well, My proposal was denied. So now I'm somewhat lost. I had a backup plan but not really. The backup plan in place was that I find out wether or not this proposal would be approved before classes start at MCC so that in the event that it is denied, I can get a full refund. Well, yeah I'm going to do that... but do I live in Omaha now? I don't have a job yet. I think it would be best to just move to Lincoln, and get a job here. Preferably a job that will carry over into the school year. hmm. I need a plan.
There is no reason for me to live in Omaha now. I don't like the house I'm in. My room is in the basement. The basement is humid and smells bad. The bedroom itself does not really smell nor is it as humid but it's not great. It's not the cleanest place either but it's liveable. The rest of the house is fine I guess. My roommate isn't the greatest person in the world. I don't know what words I can use to describe him but I can give examples of his character. : I visited the house a couple of weeks ago when I enrolled for classes at MCC. I met my new roommate at the house and he showed me around. One of the things he said to me was that he didn't really need the money and so he was going to use the money I'm paying him for rent and he was going to buy a bar and kegorator, and a new truck. He drinks a lot of beer, and his eating habits are interesting.. When he buys groceries he will buy 10 frozen pizzas and about as many frozen TV dinners. His concerns are only of beer, money, and sex. Speaking of which I saw a receipt for planned parenthood on the counter. I was surprised he left it just sitting there face up on a nearly bare countertop. This of course means only one thing. He's getting tested for STDs. Well, at least he's being some what responsible. As far as roommates go this guy is actually pretty good. I've had some roommates from hell, although that was a dorm room situation. I can stand him, but I don't think I'd have him for a roommate on the long term. The fact that I'd be staying there no later than the 3rd week of august allows me to tolerate more. As I mentioned, he said he didn't need the money I was paying him for rent. Well, things have changed. After I told him that I'd move in, but before I actually did, he bought a truck. So now he needs that money. To make matters worse (for him) he was told that at his job that he needs to put in much less overtime. So, now he's looking for a part time job. It is not my problem that he bought a truck, without having any money saved, and that his job won't let him work all the extra hours he thought they would. However, If I decide to move out in a week, well he won't like that. I'm not looking forward to dealing with him.
For those of you who read my blog, you may have noticed I do a lot of complaining, or what seems to be complaining. The thing is that I often post things that I'm concerned about, challenges that I'm facing. Though it may seem that I whine and moan a lot, I'm growing.... and I'm feeling these growing pains. I'm trying to discover who I am, where I belong, what I want. It's not easy and I feel trapped in many ways. The circumstances in recent months are confusing and right now I'm lacking direction. I need a plan.
Last night I drove to Elkhorn. It's about a 20-30 min drive from where I'm currently living. I have a cousin who lives there with her family. My mom was supposed to go there for something or other, but she didn't make it. There were a couple of things that I had left behind and she sent them with my Aunt. Anyway, I went to Elkhorn to get some of my stuff, and the original plan was to show my parents the house I was living in. While I was there I talked to my cousin's Husband. He's a nice guy. We talked about stuff.. It was nice to talk to some one that can relate to me in some ways but is older (he's 36) and can give me a more mature perspective. He said some things that I'm still mulling over.
I need to stay in school and get a degree. that's one thing I'm sure of. Money is something that is eluding me right now. I don't want to sound like I'm pressing blame, but my parents make me worry about money. They're always reminding me about how expensive school is and some how, a huge debt is this unforgivable sin or something. Yes, debt is bad. However it's something I can't avoid right now. One day it will be gone, but not for a long time. It's some thing that I can't afford to stress over. I have far too many things to worry about. I look to my parents for approval quite a bit. However, it seems everything I do is wrong. I'm supposed to be happy, meet a nice girl, get good grades stay out of debt. S@$%^ I don't do drugs, I don't drink heavily, I'm not promiscuous, I wear my seatbelt. Compared to many I'm doing alright. Sure I'm single, in debt, no job (yet), not much direction, few dreams, over weight, etc, etc, but I'm alive.
Right now, at this very moment the only way I can describe my feelings is "confused". I have all these little thoughts and stuff floating around in my head and it's tough to sort them out. Maybe I'll go fishing this weekend. I have a tackle box and a busted up fishing pole in Omaha. Of course there are no good places to go fishing around Omaha. (eew) So, I may go to Beemer this weekend and try a place that's not far from there. Hopefully I will just sort out things in my head and devise a new plan.
May 28, 2003
I moved into Omaha last night. The house is.... well I won't be impressing any girls. My room is in the basement. The bedroom itself has some extra insilation and it's not smelly or discusting as the rest of the basement. It's not very clean. and I can go on and on but I'm just not in the mood to complain about it right now.
I'm at UNL right now.. trying to get the thing with my propose "individualized program" thingy straitened out. I submited it the form May 9th. They told me it would take 2 or 3 days. No big deal.. Well I still have not heard from them. So. I decided to drive to Lincoln and see what I can find out. It's a little less than an hour drive to Lincoln from Omaha. The speed limit on the interstate is 75mph. I have never taken the Jeep up to that speed before. After a time of going at the speed limit I noticed what appeared to be white smoke coming from the back of the jeep. The engine temperature was fine but I diddn't want to take any risks so I slowed down to about 70 and continued. There were trucks that were going about the same speed so it's not like I was a hazzard or anything.
Anyway, it turns out that the woman who does the thing with the forms I submitted was on vacation all last week... Well, they will send her a message that I asked about it.. I will need to ammend the proposal as well. In this minor I'm proposing I have to take classes at MCC. Class starts June 6th. If for whatever reason, my proposal is shot down I will drop the classes, move to Lincoln and get a job in Lincoln. However, I need to know before June 6th when my first class starts, so that I can get a full refund. If I don't take classes there's no reason for me to live in Omaha. I would be better off living on campus durring the summer and getting a job that I can continue once classes start in the fall. I seriously doubt that my proposal will be shot down but I have a backup plan anyway. The worst that can happen is that they deny it after I can no longer get a refund at MCC.
Well I better get going. I'm gonna stop in the career services thingy on campus and ask for some resume advice then drive back to Omaha.
I'm at UNL right now.. trying to get the thing with my propose "individualized program" thingy straitened out. I submited it the form May 9th. They told me it would take 2 or 3 days. No big deal.. Well I still have not heard from them. So. I decided to drive to Lincoln and see what I can find out. It's a little less than an hour drive to Lincoln from Omaha. The speed limit on the interstate is 75mph. I have never taken the Jeep up to that speed before. After a time of going at the speed limit I noticed what appeared to be white smoke coming from the back of the jeep. The engine temperature was fine but I diddn't want to take any risks so I slowed down to about 70 and continued. There were trucks that were going about the same speed so it's not like I was a hazzard or anything.
Anyway, it turns out that the woman who does the thing with the forms I submitted was on vacation all last week... Well, they will send her a message that I asked about it.. I will need to ammend the proposal as well. In this minor I'm proposing I have to take classes at MCC. Class starts June 6th. If for whatever reason, my proposal is shot down I will drop the classes, move to Lincoln and get a job in Lincoln. However, I need to know before June 6th when my first class starts, so that I can get a full refund. If I don't take classes there's no reason for me to live in Omaha. I would be better off living on campus durring the summer and getting a job that I can continue once classes start in the fall. I seriously doubt that my proposal will be shot down but I have a backup plan anyway. The worst that can happen is that they deny it after I can no longer get a refund at MCC.
Well I better get going. I'm gonna stop in the career services thingy on campus and ask for some resume advice then drive back to Omaha.
May 26, 2003
Alhh my blog calls me back... where shall I begin?
I'm enjoying my "day off" 3 day weekends rock even when you have no job and no school. The rest of the family went camping. The people of Iowa seem to think that they can charge $36 for a non-resident fishing liscense. I diddn't go. On Saturday I went to Lincoln. The orginal plan was to go fishing but I did some other stuff instead. I saw the move Bruce Almighty. I was surprised by it. It was a good movie. It wasn't as good as The Truman Show but I enjoyed it more than most Jim Carrey Movies.
A few days earlier I caught up on things with an old friend... I went to his house. (well his parents' house ) we talked about stuff and watched Van Wilder. Well, the movie played as I pretended to watch it, his fiance worked on a crossword puzzle. and my friend talked about various parts of the movie. He stopped by my house earlier in the day and we talked about things. He told me that his parents now know that he and his fiance are expecting. He had told me about a week before. I guess it's kind of cool that I was the 4th person on earth to know.. I'm often the last one to know anything. Interestingly my mom has been a good source of information about people I graduated High school with. "So-and-so" had a baby but isn't getting married, "What's her face" is pregnant again and this time getting married to "some guy". It's interesting I guess. I mentioned to Ang the other day that even though my life is messed up, I can take comfort in knoing that others are much worse off. Anyway, I got a call from the pregnant one (was class pres I think) I was invited to a party at another classmates house. "Do you know where he lives?" she asked. "I can find out." I replied, trying to sound like I gave a damn. I ended the call by summerizing the info to show that I understood, and had the info correctly. Then I hung up the phone without saying goodbye. Anyway, when my friend stopped by he asked me if I got the phone call. We both theought it was strange that they'd call us, by recieving a call we both knew that they must have called everyone in the class. It's the 5th year reunion of my High school graduating class. La-de-freakin'-da. I had better things to do than sit around and drink beer with these people.
Tomorrow I move to Omaha. I'll be sharing a house that my friend's brother is renting. It will be interesting... my friend dosn't think that I'll get along very well with him. I'm scepticle. I went to regitster for classes on campus and check out the place I'll be living in. It turns out the guy dosn't need the money I'm paying him for rent, so, he's gonna blow it on a Kegorator and a truck. Acording to my friend, he's allready bought the truck.. He's spending money he can't afford to spend because he's banking on me paying rent at a certain time. Bastard. I tried to explain to him that I don't have money but I will by the end of the summer. When he told me he dosn't really need the money I though "Oh cool!,. he probably won't mind if I just pay all 3 months rent at once at the end of the summer." well it dosn't look like that will be the case. Right now I have more immediate things to worry about. such as finding a job. I don't know what I'm going to do about internet access. The house dosn't have a land line. (he has a cell phone) Well. there's always the computer lab on campus. I just need to find it.
May 13, 2003
It's a snail!.... no it's a slug.. no .. no.. it's... it's the FJ update!
The semester is over. I didn't escape without several wounds though. Friday just about anything that could go wrong, did. I couldn't sleep the night before.. thinking I'd get tired and fall asleep at any time, I didn't do much of any cleaning or packing. Unfortunately I was up very late and over slept. I fell asleep who knows when.. woke up at 9:30.. ate breakfast, fell back asleep around 10:30 and slept until 2:00 in the afternoon. As soon as I woke up I got to work on the form I needed to submit in order to design my own minor. I had pretty much finished it and just needed to touch it up. I don't know what was wrong with me but I made mistake after mistake and it took me an hour longer than it should have. I printed the stupid thing almost 5 times. It was almost 4:00 by the time I got back to my room and could do anything else. I was originally signed up to check out of the dorm at 6:45 that evening. That didn't happen. Long story short, it took me until about midnight before I was done. Luckily for me the RA had to go some where and let me put it off until then. I had to miss a get together with Ang. She had invited me to her place (and some other friends) for alcohol, junk food, and video games. I was depressed that I missed it. I couldn't even call to let her know I was running way behind and couldn't make it. I finally rolled into Beemer about 3:00 AM.
On Saturday, I skipped my cousin's wedding and went to a party instead. It turns out that I didn't miss much of anything by not going to the wedding. The wedding was long and boring. The party was in Lincoln, the e-mail I got told me to be there at 7:30. I showed up around 7:45 I was the first one there. It was interesting... I met a lot of new people. It was difficult to get words out at first, but after a couple of beers things were a little better. Right now I feel trapped between two languages. Had I gone to a party and none of them knew/used sign I would have been some what out of place, unable to communicate very well. At this party where no one could understand speech, I was in a very similar position. I need a lot more practice with ASL. At first a couple of people assumed I was hearing... when they later learned I was "hoh" their attitude seemed to change. Maybe it was just me but, it was interesting.. suddenly I was less of an outsider, and more one of them. I find this very interesting. I'm not sure where I land within any of these cultures or groups or whatever. I do feel that I don't entirely fit in, this is primarily because of my lack of proficiency with sign. Of course, I often feel like I don't fit in with people who don't sign. So right now I'm trapped between two worlds. One person mentioned that she didn't want me to feel left out... I think she realized that I was talking to anybody a whole lot. I was a new face to most of the people there so that may have been part of it. I think a larger factor was that my ASL vocabulary is too small and native signers go too fast. I wish I knew of some way to increase my sign skills in a hurry. The only thing I can think of is to use it every day. This really isn't much of an option. Signing to myself is about as useful as talking in my sleep.
I didn't have to buy my own beer for the party, I helped my friend Amy with a cover letter for her résumé, and she bought me some beer. I think I got the good end of the deal, I guess if she can continue helping me with ASL I can continue helping her with English. We left the party around 4AM, I crashed at her place until morning and then drove back to Beemer.
I got back to Beemer around noon. Nobody was home, so I turned the TV on, plopped down on the couch and fell asleep. My mom had already opened the Mother's day gift I got her (I told her she could open it before I got home) I got her a portable MP3 player. She really likes it. My brother got her a pasta pot and some jelly beans. In the evening we went to visit my grandparents. Sunday was my grandmothers 81st birthday. While we were there my uncle (mom's oldest brother) and aunt were there. My uncle played the accordion for a while. My grandparents, as well as some of the other residents of the nursing home, really seemed to enjoy it. After the visit, I drove home and every one else went back to my grandparents' house to go look over some things. Later that evening I was talking to my mom and she mentioned something interesting. For the last 10+ years we thought my aunt was just a mean old hag, but it turns out that my mom's other brother (see earlier posts) was constantly saying negative things about us to them. It's interesting, because to us, he'd always say bad things about them. Things are starting to come full circle it seems. I also found out today that my aunt from OKC left her husband about a month ago. I knew this was coming, I had no idea when she'd actually leave though. She doesn't want any one in the extended family (beyond my mom and her immediate family) to know about this. I can see her point. She's had enough crap put on her lately, she doesn't need any more. If any of you are reading this and getting people mixed up.. well if you know me personally I can straiten it out for you, if you don't I guess you can e-mail me, I will answer as best as I can while remaining as anonymous as possible. I don't know who reads this, if anyone, but for some reason I don't want to use names or other ways to identify people I talk about.
I finished fixing the computer I mentioned 3 posts ago. I ended up replacing the video card after all. From what I was told I saw no problem. The issue was mostly a problem of communicating the actual problem to me. Anyway, the card would jump up to an absurdly high refresh rate after being on for a while. I didn't have the opportunity to see if it would do it while it was being used or if it was only while it was left idle. They didn't have any antivirus installed so I put one on and updated it and ran a scan. It found nothing. I replaced the card and set it up. It also seemed to have a problem with coming out of sleep mode. They have win98 (1st edition) on it.. so I think that's where that problem was. I recall that win98 (not SE)_ has a bug that causes problems with coming out of sleep mode. My parents' computer is prone to it as well. So, I went into the appropriate control panel and set it to always on.
This weekend I also tried out the new version of this Nintendo emulator. If you have a modded Playstation or PS2 I strongly encourage you to check it out. This is a must have for video game junkies, especially those of us who don't have working nintendo systems anymore. Other than that my life is .. well pretty lame right now... I got a lot of laundry done today, uh... All this week I need to get ready to go to school this summer.. I haven't even registered for classes yet.. I shall look into that tomorrow.... and I guess that end the FJ update.
The semester is over. I didn't escape without several wounds though. Friday just about anything that could go wrong, did. I couldn't sleep the night before.. thinking I'd get tired and fall asleep at any time, I didn't do much of any cleaning or packing. Unfortunately I was up very late and over slept. I fell asleep who knows when.. woke up at 9:30.. ate breakfast, fell back asleep around 10:30 and slept until 2:00 in the afternoon. As soon as I woke up I got to work on the form I needed to submit in order to design my own minor. I had pretty much finished it and just needed to touch it up. I don't know what was wrong with me but I made mistake after mistake and it took me an hour longer than it should have. I printed the stupid thing almost 5 times. It was almost 4:00 by the time I got back to my room and could do anything else. I was originally signed up to check out of the dorm at 6:45 that evening. That didn't happen. Long story short, it took me until about midnight before I was done. Luckily for me the RA had to go some where and let me put it off until then. I had to miss a get together with Ang. She had invited me to her place (and some other friends) for alcohol, junk food, and video games. I was depressed that I missed it. I couldn't even call to let her know I was running way behind and couldn't make it. I finally rolled into Beemer about 3:00 AM.
On Saturday, I skipped my cousin's wedding and went to a party instead. It turns out that I didn't miss much of anything by not going to the wedding. The wedding was long and boring. The party was in Lincoln, the e-mail I got told me to be there at 7:30. I showed up around 7:45 I was the first one there. It was interesting... I met a lot of new people. It was difficult to get words out at first, but after a couple of beers things were a little better. Right now I feel trapped between two languages. Had I gone to a party and none of them knew/used sign I would have been some what out of place, unable to communicate very well. At this party where no one could understand speech, I was in a very similar position. I need a lot more practice with ASL. At first a couple of people assumed I was hearing... when they later learned I was "hoh" their attitude seemed to change. Maybe it was just me but, it was interesting.. suddenly I was less of an outsider, and more one of them. I find this very interesting. I'm not sure where I land within any of these cultures or groups or whatever. I do feel that I don't entirely fit in, this is primarily because of my lack of proficiency with sign. Of course, I often feel like I don't fit in with people who don't sign. So right now I'm trapped between two worlds. One person mentioned that she didn't want me to feel left out... I think she realized that I was talking to anybody a whole lot. I was a new face to most of the people there so that may have been part of it. I think a larger factor was that my ASL vocabulary is too small and native signers go too fast. I wish I knew of some way to increase my sign skills in a hurry. The only thing I can think of is to use it every day. This really isn't much of an option. Signing to myself is about as useful as talking in my sleep.
I didn't have to buy my own beer for the party, I helped my friend Amy with a cover letter for her résumé, and she bought me some beer. I think I got the good end of the deal, I guess if she can continue helping me with ASL I can continue helping her with English. We left the party around 4AM, I crashed at her place until morning and then drove back to Beemer.
I got back to Beemer around noon. Nobody was home, so I turned the TV on, plopped down on the couch and fell asleep. My mom had already opened the Mother's day gift I got her (I told her she could open it before I got home) I got her a portable MP3 player. She really likes it. My brother got her a pasta pot and some jelly beans. In the evening we went to visit my grandparents. Sunday was my grandmothers 81st birthday. While we were there my uncle (mom's oldest brother) and aunt were there. My uncle played the accordion for a while. My grandparents, as well as some of the other residents of the nursing home, really seemed to enjoy it. After the visit, I drove home and every one else went back to my grandparents' house to go look over some things. Later that evening I was talking to my mom and she mentioned something interesting. For the last 10+ years we thought my aunt was just a mean old hag, but it turns out that my mom's other brother (see earlier posts) was constantly saying negative things about us to them. It's interesting, because to us, he'd always say bad things about them. Things are starting to come full circle it seems. I also found out today that my aunt from OKC left her husband about a month ago. I knew this was coming, I had no idea when she'd actually leave though. She doesn't want any one in the extended family (beyond my mom and her immediate family) to know about this. I can see her point. She's had enough crap put on her lately, she doesn't need any more. If any of you are reading this and getting people mixed up.. well if you know me personally I can straiten it out for you, if you don't I guess you can e-mail me, I will answer as best as I can while remaining as anonymous as possible. I don't know who reads this, if anyone, but for some reason I don't want to use names or other ways to identify people I talk about.
I finished fixing the computer I mentioned 3 posts ago. I ended up replacing the video card after all. From what I was told I saw no problem. The issue was mostly a problem of communicating the actual problem to me. Anyway, the card would jump up to an absurdly high refresh rate after being on for a while. I didn't have the opportunity to see if it would do it while it was being used or if it was only while it was left idle. They didn't have any antivirus installed so I put one on and updated it and ran a scan. It found nothing. I replaced the card and set it up. It also seemed to have a problem with coming out of sleep mode. They have win98 (1st edition) on it.. so I think that's where that problem was. I recall that win98 (not SE)_ has a bug that causes problems with coming out of sleep mode. My parents' computer is prone to it as well. So, I went into the appropriate control panel and set it to always on.
This weekend I also tried out the new version of this Nintendo emulator. If you have a modded Playstation or PS2 I strongly encourage you to check it out. This is a must have for video game junkies, especially those of us who don't have working nintendo systems anymore. Other than that my life is .. well pretty lame right now... I got a lot of laundry done today, uh... All this week I need to get ready to go to school this summer.. I haven't even registered for classes yet.. I shall look into that tomorrow.... and I guess that end the FJ update.
May 03, 2003
Dear Ndugu,
This evening I saw the movie About Schmidt. I enjoyed the movie. I was quite pleased that this movie was not another Election. This movie was based on a novel of the same name. The book has been adapted for film and altered to take place in Omaha. I was happy to see some little details that most people won't catch, obscure details that most Nebraskans will just pass over. The street name on his check blanks is one detail for example, and there are others, you'll have to find them yourself, I'm sure there are ones I missed. Near the end of the movie, Warren visits an archway outside of Kearney that goes over the interstate. It's kind of in the middle of nowhere. The audience laughed at the beginning of that scene and I missed a part of the dialogue. If you're not from Nebraska, don't expect a laugh.
I liked this movie enough that I think I will buy the DVD once it's available. There are a lot of good scenes. A lot of moments in that movie that say more than can be said in volumes of books. That of course is the essence of a film; capturing moments. This film made me begin to think about the kinds of things I have thought about for a long time. Also I found out what ever happened to Mr. Moore from the Head of the Class "."
I've been wondering about fate for the last couple of weeks... especially last night. Seeing this movie was timely for me. This past week or so I've been coming to terms with the ways that I've failed to succeed academically. I'm trying to not let my self pity or regret inhibit the way I take on the future. This is easier said than done however. I've decided to design my own minor here at UNL. I'm doing the individualized program of studies thing and will propose a minor in American Sign Language. I've already completed all of the 4 ASL courses offered here, and I'll only need to take 3 more classes to complete the minor I'm proposing. This will be nice because I really have no idea what else to minor in. I have considered psychology, but I don't want to take all those courses. I'll be here forever. I took a psychology class this semester and last semester because I needed to be full time and couldn't find any other classes to take. So I thought I need to pick up a minor anyway, might as well be psychology. Looking back I wish I had looked into creating my own minor sooner, and taken care of my ethnicity and gender elective requirement, rather than taking psych. I still have to submit the form and cross my fingers. I'll take care of that first thing Monday. To summarize some things I don't want to discuss in detail, The federal government will only loan and/or give you money for the first 12 semesters toward your undergraduate degree. After this semester I'm down to just one, but because some of those are transfer credits (taken in high school) I was told that I could appeal that and get one more semester out of it. However, if I got less than a D (or dropped) in any class this semester, I would be ineligible for that money in the next school year. Well here's why that's relevant. I couldn't take any classes at all this summer because that would push me over the edge and I wouldn't qualify. Well since I @#%^ed up my eligibility anyway. I might as well take summer classes. The classes I will be taking are at Metro Community College in Omaha. I'll be taking two classes that are not in any way offered here at UNL. These two classes are necessary for the minor I'm proposing. It is roughly an hour drive from Lincoln to Omaha, though I've been told it's more like 45 min. In any case I figured it would be better to see if I can live in Omaha rather than live in Lincoln. So, last night I contact my friend (the engaged one.. just scroll down to a previous post for details). Well it so happens that he and his brother were not getting along. He, his fiance, and the little one moved out. The three of them moved in with his parents in Beemer. They have dibs on a house in a nearby town, and his fiance is hopeful for a job, and my friend drives to his same job. (nearly 2 hours but, he's making enough money apparently). So, back to fate. Last night I also called up the brother. He has this house that he's renting and no roommate. At the time being it looks like I have a place to live in Omaha for the summer.
The only other thing that's really on my mind is what I am going to do about my parents. They know I'm taking classes in Omaha. They know I wasn't taking any classes before. I have not told them that I totally screwed up this semester. I know that they will be disappointed in me. That's not what is bothering me though. What bothers me is that I know I will have to put up with their excessive expression of their disappointment. And worst of all the nagging question: "What are you gonna do now?" or something to the effect of "you blew it" or "this is going to be expensive". I wonder if they're aware that I know all that already. I've been down a similar road before. I can't hide the fact that I've screwed up. But I've had a lot of thoughts of just avoiding my parents. I've also thought of ways to get them to back off, once they start hounding me. The "could be worse" examples come to mind... I'm doubtful of the effectiveness but it's all I can think of. By giving them scenarios where things would be worse they might stop telling me how bad things are. For example I could tell them something like "Well at least I'm not living in a trailer with a knocked up girlfriend, and changing oil for a living." These kinds of statements are entirely for them. At present time I have no desire to imagine what it would be like if my life were absurdly worse.
This evening I saw the movie About Schmidt. I enjoyed the movie. I was quite pleased that this movie was not another Election. This movie was based on a novel of the same name. The book has been adapted for film and altered to take place in Omaha. I was happy to see some little details that most people won't catch, obscure details that most Nebraskans will just pass over. The street name on his check blanks is one detail for example, and there are others, you'll have to find them yourself, I'm sure there are ones I missed. Near the end of the movie, Warren visits an archway outside of Kearney that goes over the interstate. It's kind of in the middle of nowhere. The audience laughed at the beginning of that scene and I missed a part of the dialogue. If you're not from Nebraska, don't expect a laugh.
I liked this movie enough that I think I will buy the DVD once it's available. There are a lot of good scenes. A lot of moments in that movie that say more than can be said in volumes of books. That of course is the essence of a film; capturing moments. This film made me begin to think about the kinds of things I have thought about for a long time. Also I found out what ever happened to Mr. Moore from the Head of the Class "."
I've been wondering about fate for the last couple of weeks... especially last night. Seeing this movie was timely for me. This past week or so I've been coming to terms with the ways that I've failed to succeed academically. I'm trying to not let my self pity or regret inhibit the way I take on the future. This is easier said than done however. I've decided to design my own minor here at UNL. I'm doing the individualized program of studies thing and will propose a minor in American Sign Language. I've already completed all of the 4 ASL courses offered here, and I'll only need to take 3 more classes to complete the minor I'm proposing. This will be nice because I really have no idea what else to minor in. I have considered psychology, but I don't want to take all those courses. I'll be here forever. I took a psychology class this semester and last semester because I needed to be full time and couldn't find any other classes to take. So I thought I need to pick up a minor anyway, might as well be psychology. Looking back I wish I had looked into creating my own minor sooner, and taken care of my ethnicity and gender elective requirement, rather than taking psych. I still have to submit the form and cross my fingers. I'll take care of that first thing Monday. To summarize some things I don't want to discuss in detail, The federal government will only loan and/or give you money for the first 12 semesters toward your undergraduate degree. After this semester I'm down to just one, but because some of those are transfer credits (taken in high school) I was told that I could appeal that and get one more semester out of it. However, if I got less than a D (or dropped) in any class this semester, I would be ineligible for that money in the next school year. Well here's why that's relevant. I couldn't take any classes at all this summer because that would push me over the edge and I wouldn't qualify. Well since I @#%^ed up my eligibility anyway. I might as well take summer classes. The classes I will be taking are at Metro Community College in Omaha. I'll be taking two classes that are not in any way offered here at UNL. These two classes are necessary for the minor I'm proposing. It is roughly an hour drive from Lincoln to Omaha, though I've been told it's more like 45 min. In any case I figured it would be better to see if I can live in Omaha rather than live in Lincoln. So, last night I contact my friend (the engaged one.. just scroll down to a previous post for details). Well it so happens that he and his brother were not getting along. He, his fiance, and the little one moved out. The three of them moved in with his parents in Beemer. They have dibs on a house in a nearby town, and his fiance is hopeful for a job, and my friend drives to his same job. (nearly 2 hours but, he's making enough money apparently). So, back to fate. Last night I also called up the brother. He has this house that he's renting and no roommate. At the time being it looks like I have a place to live in Omaha for the summer.
The only other thing that's really on my mind is what I am going to do about my parents. They know I'm taking classes in Omaha. They know I wasn't taking any classes before. I have not told them that I totally screwed up this semester. I know that they will be disappointed in me. That's not what is bothering me though. What bothers me is that I know I will have to put up with their excessive expression of their disappointment. And worst of all the nagging question: "What are you gonna do now?" or something to the effect of "you blew it" or "this is going to be expensive". I wonder if they're aware that I know all that already. I've been down a similar road before. I can't hide the fact that I've screwed up. But I've had a lot of thoughts of just avoiding my parents. I've also thought of ways to get them to back off, once they start hounding me. The "could be worse" examples come to mind... I'm doubtful of the effectiveness but it's all I can think of. By giving them scenarios where things would be worse they might stop telling me how bad things are. For example I could tell them something like "Well at least I'm not living in a trailer with a knocked up girlfriend, and changing oil for a living." These kinds of statements are entirely for them. At present time I have no desire to imagine what it would be like if my life were absurdly worse.
