May 31, 2004
I'm still alive.
This weekend is a 3 day weekend. Gotta love 3 day weekends. I diddn't do a darn thing but it beats going to work. I guess I've been doing a lot of different things these last few weeks. Most of my time is devoted to work. I still hate my job but if I can find something better in the next couple of weeks I'm out of here. Yeah, fat chance but a guy can dream. I have DSL now so that will allow me to hunt for jobs much more effeciently.
ok I updated my blog....
This weekend is a 3 day weekend. Gotta love 3 day weekends. I diddn't do a darn thing but it beats going to work. I guess I've been doing a lot of different things these last few weeks. Most of my time is devoted to work. I still hate my job but if I can find something better in the next couple of weeks I'm out of here. Yeah, fat chance but a guy can dream. I have DSL now so that will allow me to hunt for jobs much more effeciently.
ok I updated my blog....
May 02, 2004
Mr. Dunderbeck
I'm still working at Wimmer's. I hate my job. My time there is about half over. Well... I have worked about half the number of required hours through the staffing agency before I can quit without penalty. As far as I am concerned, my time there is half over. It's not a "bad" job... but I can't shake the feeling that I don't belong there. Meat goes into the grinder... it comes out of the grinder.... I hate putting those grinders together. I'm not sure why, it's not terribly difficult but I don't like doing it. I have not been feeling well lately. This concerns me just a bit because I'm begining to doubt that I will ever be content with my meager existance. Perhaps I should take a different approach and forget about ever being "happy". In some ways I feel like I'm just running... running away from this life I don't like. Example: I don't like not having money, thus I get a job. I don't like living at home... thus my next step is getting my own place... getting away from Beemer. Although this seems all perfectly logical so far... I moved back home due to lack of money.. because I diddn't get a job, and I was completely sick of school. See a pattern yet? I have no idea what I need to do to get myself into a place where I feel like I'm moving toward something I want, rather than getting away from something I don't want.
I have not applied for a single job since I started full time at Wimmer's. I've been slacking I know. The following excuses won't change my lack of do-ing, but it gives the illusion that I am working at full capacity. 1)I'm on a crappy dialup internet access, Of which I have restricted access. Because we only have one phone line, I'm not allowed to use the phone line for interenet durring certain hours. This gives me about 1 hour of internet time per weekday. I go to sleep earlyier than I would otherwise because I must wake up at 5:30 to get to work. 2) I'm freaking tired after working at Wimmer's all day. It's noisy and we wear ear plugs. If you can't hear worth a damn to begin with, trying to understand people is increadibly exausting.
I thought that I'd have a different ISP by now. There is a broadband over wireless carrier here in Beemer, the price for their 128k connection is the same as the phone companies cost for dialup. If I would have had my way we would have been hooked up back in Februrary. However, my dad, being somewhat of a technophobe, wouldn't allow it (to put it simply) and now we've been waiting nearly two weeks for them to come and hook us up. So, several people are to blame for my crappy internet access.
Speaking of technology, I bought a fax machine a couple weeks ago. I needed to send some faxes and just went out and bout a machine. At first I thought that this was out of character for me. I usually want to do everything on the computer. So, in my mind I must think of the fax machine, not as being old technology but rather of being a stand-alone device for a particular function of a computer. Not unlike my Rio-volt SP90 MP3-CD player. Sure I could have built a low end computer to go in the car.. but this works better in many ways. Now, get this: more proof my dad and technology aren't speaking to each other... When I was setting up my fax machine my dad asked something like: "what's your fax number going to be?" (yes, if you were paying attention, we only have one phone line.)
Hopefully I will find something to deliver me from Beemer.. hopefully very soon. My parents keep saying things about playing it safe, but I want to move out of the house!!! Today I realzied that I must take risks if I'm going to get anywhere. Speaking of moving.. my blog will move to a new server very soon, if it's down for a day or two don't be surprised.. I don't know when I'll actually move it, might not be for another week.
Last week I was thinking that there is nothing left for me here in Beemer. Everything that there is to gain from this little Nebraska village has allready been bequothed to me in one way or another. Old things go, new things come in... Not too long ago the old standpipe water tower was replaced with a much more modern (and larger) one. This week the bleachers next to the football field at the school were torn down. I painted them back in '97 as my Eagle Scout service project. And just the other day the guy next door started cutting down the tree in his back yard. It's a shame that he's cutting it down.((And right after Arbor day) It must be a very old tree. (It's a maple, so I'm guessing 70+ years, nearly as old as these houses.) In it's place will be a very large garage, replaceing the one-car garage that's there and then some. He says it will be big enough to hold all his vehicles. (I think that's 7)
Other things that change are relationships.. My friend Fantasmarose is getting married this weekend (I think it was yesterday). We've discussed relationships and things of that nature on several occasions. She belives in true love, and claims she's experiencing it. One one hand that gives me a little hope.. that something as story-book-ish as "true love" may actually exist. However, she also belives in polytheism and other neo-pagan stuff, so.. I'm doubtfull that I will adapt her belives about love.
A girl with whom I graduated from High school also got married this weekend. She was one of the 3 that diddn't have babies by the time we graduated. I wonder if she's steryle.
I have not applied for a single job since I started full time at Wimmer's. I've been slacking I know. The following excuses won't change my lack of do-ing, but it gives the illusion that I am working at full capacity. 1)I'm on a crappy dialup internet access, Of which I have restricted access. Because we only have one phone line, I'm not allowed to use the phone line for interenet durring certain hours. This gives me about 1 hour of internet time per weekday. I go to sleep earlyier than I would otherwise because I must wake up at 5:30 to get to work. 2) I'm freaking tired after working at Wimmer's all day. It's noisy and we wear ear plugs. If you can't hear worth a damn to begin with, trying to understand people is increadibly exausting.
I thought that I'd have a different ISP by now. There is a broadband over wireless carrier here in Beemer, the price for their 128k connection is the same as the phone companies cost for dialup. If I would have had my way we would have been hooked up back in Februrary. However, my dad, being somewhat of a technophobe, wouldn't allow it (to put it simply) and now we've been waiting nearly two weeks for them to come and hook us up. So, several people are to blame for my crappy internet access.
Speaking of technology, I bought a fax machine a couple weeks ago. I needed to send some faxes and just went out and bout a machine. At first I thought that this was out of character for me. I usually want to do everything on the computer. So, in my mind I must think of the fax machine, not as being old technology but rather of being a stand-alone device for a particular function of a computer. Not unlike my Rio-volt SP90 MP3-CD player. Sure I could have built a low end computer to go in the car.. but this works better in many ways. Now, get this: more proof my dad and technology aren't speaking to each other... When I was setting up my fax machine my dad asked something like: "what's your fax number going to be?" (yes, if you were paying attention, we only have one phone line.)
Hopefully I will find something to deliver me from Beemer.. hopefully very soon. My parents keep saying things about playing it safe, but I want to move out of the house!!! Today I realzied that I must take risks if I'm going to get anywhere. Speaking of moving.. my blog will move to a new server very soon, if it's down for a day or two don't be surprised.. I don't know when I'll actually move it, might not be for another week.
Last week I was thinking that there is nothing left for me here in Beemer. Everything that there is to gain from this little Nebraska village has allready been bequothed to me in one way or another. Old things go, new things come in... Not too long ago the old standpipe water tower was replaced with a much more modern (and larger) one. This week the bleachers next to the football field at the school were torn down. I painted them back in '97 as my Eagle Scout service project. And just the other day the guy next door started cutting down the tree in his back yard. It's a shame that he's cutting it down.((And right after Arbor day) It must be a very old tree. (It's a maple, so I'm guessing 70+ years, nearly as old as these houses.) In it's place will be a very large garage, replaceing the one-car garage that's there and then some. He says it will be big enough to hold all his vehicles. (I think that's 7)
Other things that change are relationships.. My friend Fantasmarose is getting married this weekend (I think it was yesterday). We've discussed relationships and things of that nature on several occasions. She belives in true love, and claims she's experiencing it. One one hand that gives me a little hope.. that something as story-book-ish as "true love" may actually exist. However, she also belives in polytheism and other neo-pagan stuff, so.. I'm doubtfull that I will adapt her belives about love.
A girl with whom I graduated from High school also got married this weekend. She was one of the 3 that diddn't have babies by the time we graduated. I wonder if she's steryle.
